Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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