that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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