i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
