i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
