he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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