How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
