Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
