I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's rum buckets o'clock
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize