mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
