put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
