He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
