i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
