glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
