you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drunk is not a location!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize