belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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