Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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