Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
