Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
