did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
