Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
