Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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