Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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