Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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