I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
