we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize