their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
