Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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