Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
