after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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