Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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