I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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