I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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