May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
