we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He felt like a one man threesome
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
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