And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
