in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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