I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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