you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
