That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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