my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
