EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
