He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
