dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
