If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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