help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
