It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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