Porn is love you can see.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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