So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
