Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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