Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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