I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
