I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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