And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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