Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He passed out mid-signature
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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