I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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