i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dicks are not precious.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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