yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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