Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
