Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
