If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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