i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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