all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
