we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
