hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my sisters under your porch take her home
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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