haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize