If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
