are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
