Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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