Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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